Need a Doula in San Antonio?

The Truth about Childbirth and Labor
 by: Suzanne Doyle-Ingram

Labor and childbirth was an amazing, positive experience for me, both times. I am very fortunate, I know. But I do believe that if you prepare yourself through education (reading books, reading websites like this one, taking prenatal classes, etc) and taking good care of yourself while you are pregnant, you will have a far greater chance of a pleasant birth experience.

There are many things you can do to increase your chances of an empowering childbirth experience. These are the things I did:

Pregnancy yoga classes

Regular Chiropractic care

Chose a Midwife instead of a doctor

Hired a doula to be with me through the labor and birth

Took high quality vitamins, folic acid and natural iron supplements (made by Flora, derived from natural sources, not metal)

Took a 18 hour prenatal class from a former midwife (NOT at a hospital)

Lastly, I believed, truly believed that my body knew what it was doing. I was not scared at all. I knew in my heart of hearts that pregnancy is a healthy state of being, and that my body would know exactly what to do when the time came. And it did!

So many people seem to enjoy telling stories of excruciating pain during childbirth. Others will tell you their labor was 87 hours long! I do not know why women do this to each other. Yes, I will grant you, labor is painful. But it is also powerful and incredible what your body can achieve!

One important note: I am Canadian, and our medical system is much different than the United States. But I am aware that most visitors to my website are American, so that is why I often try to include American statistics and information. One major difference between our two countries is that midwives in most parts of Canada have hospital privileges, i.e. they are allowed to deliver babies in hospitals. They perform essentially the same procedures as doctors, except they do not perform surgery. Whereas doctors view childbirth in terms of what can go wrong, midwives see childbirth as a natural process and medical intervention is only necessary in the event of an emergency.

I had many questions before I gave birth the first time, and the following onformation is what I leaned about labor and child birth. I am not a doctor, and I have no medical training whatsoever, so please ask your own doctor for clarification or more information.

Am I going to be pregnant forever?

In terms of when the average woman gives birth, a woman’s due date is determined to be 40 weeks after her last menstrual period, which is about 280 days. Most women deliver very near their due date, but anywhere from 38 weeks to 42 weeks is normal. You know you are in labor when you have strong (generally more painful than period cramps) contractions, five minutes apart, which last for a full minute. The first stage of labor is the longest and that is when your cervix dilates from 0 to 10 centimetres and becomes thinned out (or “effaced”). The second stage of labor is the pushing stage, which begins after you are fully dilated. The third stage of labor is after your baby is born and you deliver the placenta.

I was worried that my water would break in the supermarket and I would be mortified. However, the bag of water, (the membrane that surrounds the fetus and protects it during your whole pregnancy), contains amniotic fluid and it only breaks at the beginning of labor (mine did) 10% of the time. It does not hurt. You may not even know it has happened, but you may feel warm water on your legs. You feel a tiny “Pop!” and then a little fluid trickles out. It’s not a huge gush – I think this is because the baby’s head is acting like a cork. Most commonly, about 90% of the time, your water breaks when your cervix is fully dilated. Sometimes your midwife or doctor may break it. When that happens, prostaglandins are released, and contractions become stronger and more regular, and the progress of labor speeds up.

Many women also wonder when they should go to the hospital. Your doctor or midwife will educate you about what they want you to do. Some may want you to phone the hospital as soon as anything happens. A midwife usually comes to your house, so you don’t have to plan so much as you would with a doctor. When you get to the hospital, you will need to register at the Maternity Department. Usually you can do this a few months prior – call the hospital where you will deliver and find out. Depending, again, on whether you have a doctor or midwife, a lot of different scenarios can take place. Also what kind of doctor you have: is he or she someone who believes that your body knows what to do? Or will he or she insist that you are given an IV and hooked up to a monitor constantly? You do NOT have to labor this way, but you need to decide before you choose a doctor what is important to you and how you want your experience to be. (A birth plan would be a good option. If you present your birth plan to your doctor and he or she laughs at you – reconsider using that doctor!)

How long does it take?

Every labor is so different, but generally speaking, first labors take about 12 to 24 hours. My first labor was about 10 hours but my midwife said that I was only in “active” labor for 5 hours, which I disagree with because the first 7 hours were not spent sitting around comfortably!

What about the pain? Is it really that bad?

I am not going to lie about it, it is painful, but your body is an amazing machine. I did not take anything for the pain during my labors, but I was very fortunate to have a wonderful doula and husband who supported me throughout. Studies have shown that continuous support during labor decreases the need for pain relief by 60%. See my article entitled “What would I do without my Doula?” here http://www.pregnancy-leads-to-new-babies.com/doula.html.

What’s wrong with having an epidural? Why go through the pain if you don’t have to?

This is simply my opinion – I am not a doctor, but I have done the research. For me, I was not trying to be a martyr. I just wanted my baby to have the very best chance of being healthy. Generally, it is true to say that epidurals are a safe and effective method of relieving pain in labor, but safe does not mean risk free. There are risks; I would be lying to say there are none. See Thorp, J.A. & Breedlove, G (1996) Epidural Analgesia in Labour: An evaluation of Risks and Benefits 23(2) 63-83.

In terms of risks for your baby, epidurals can cause maternal fever and this can potentially harm your baby. Newborns sometimes also exhibit poor nursing behavior for up to one month. Many newborns exposed to epidural anaesthesia in labor are very sleepy and they would rather sleep than nurse, which can be problematic because the more you nurse at the beginning, the faster your milk will come in and the better your experience will be. It’s shocking to me that most women take such exceptional care of their babies while they are pregnant, i.e. no alcohol, no Tylenol, etc., but they willingly expose their babies to drugs during childbirth without fully educating themselves of the risks.

Here’s something you want not want to know: Hospital-employed childbirth educators WANT you to have an epidural. Hospitals make a lot of money from epidurals. The nurse often comes into your room and says, ‘Are you ready for your epidural now?’ In the U.S.A, an epidural costs from $500 to $2500, depending on the hospital. The United States spends more money on birth ($50 Billion a year!) than any other nation in the world, without necessarily getting the best results. The average hospital birth costs $8,000 – $10,000 and that doubles for caesareans, providing very nice profits for obstetricians, anaesthesiologists and drug companies. Hospital policies are routinely set based on financial goals. This is a fact, and if you don’t believe it, you are being duped.

Just hear me out on this one: It makes sense, doesn’t it? Since midwifery care and doula care reduces the rates of intervention, they also reduce the profit for doctors and hospitals. Of course, they will try to convince you that midwives are dangerous. They want your money!!! That is why, in Canada, where we have arguably the best government-run medical insurance system in the world, governments realised that by allowing midwives to deliver in hospitlas, they are saving millions of dollars.

Back to epidurals (which I am not completely against, by the way! I do believe they are warranted in some cases)If you have an epidural, you must also have a urinary catheter inserted to empty your bladder. Epidurals can cause your blood pressure to decrease, so a nurse will check your blood pressure very often. The nurse or doctor will also periodically rub your abdomen to make sure there is enough paralysis but not so much that your breathing becomes impaired.

There is also a domino effect that plays into it as well – once you have one intervention, you are more at risk for more and more. For example, a woman who has an epidural is FOUR times as likely to have to have a caesarean section. Sometimes it relaxes the pelvis so much that you cannot push out your baby, so the use of Vacuum and forceps are significantly increased. This means you also have to have an episiotomy (where they cut your skin from your vagina to your rectum) in order to get the forceps into your vagina. Sometimes there are complications from episiotomies, as you can well imagine, such as bowel incontinence and urinary incontinence. Note: According to Childbirth practices researcher Katherine Hartmann, MD, PhD, close to 1 million unnecessary episiotomies are performed in the U.S. each year. She says episiotomies are probably medically warranted in fewer than 10% of cases. Currently 1 in 3 American women get episiotomies. Hartmann is director of the Center for Women’s Health Research at the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill.

The biggest risk of epidural is death – if the anaesthesiologist injects the wrong dose, or makes a mistake, you’re in trouble. You can also be paralysed (in very rare cases, permanently) due to nerve damage. Let me repeat, MOST epidurals are safe, but these are some of the risks you need to be aware of. The evidence of epidural risks is well documented, but it is not readily available.

Don’t you think it is easier for the doctor to be able to “control” their patient if they are lying still and quiet in the bed, paralysed and unable to move around? Ask your doctor what percentage of their patients receive an epidural. Can you go one step further and ask them how much money they make if they give an epidural? Or of it makes their job easier if their patient has an epidural? I think that would be very interesting! If he or she has an alarming rate of epidurals, I would seriously consider changing doctors.

If you are still thinking, “I don’t care what anybody says, there is no way I am going to go through that pain like some freaky natural childbirth nut”, I am here to say that I thought exactly the same way when I was pregnant – at first. But once I did some reading, I thought, wait a second, maybe I could at least try to do it naturally. In my birth plan I wrote that I wanted to try to do it naturally, but if I ask for an epidural, give me one. (Where we live, Midwives can order epidurals.) I also want to say that I do believe that in some cases, epidurals are a really good idea. For example, if you have been laboring a very long time and you need to rest a few hours so that you can gather your energy to push the baby out. I was present at my friend’s birth as her support person, and she was not making any progress after about 10 hours. We tried all sorts of positions and everything, but finally her doctor suggested an epidural and I agreed. She was able to rest, and calm down, and then it wore off and she was able to push out her baby without any problems. It was beautiful. (Note: she did not experience any of the above complications.)

Please educate yourself by reading some of the books I recommend on my website. You will feel much better about yourself knowing that you did your research and made the right decision for you. Finally, please take a GOOD prenatal class (not one offered at a hospital) and read as much as you can so that you are prepared and educated. It’s your body and your baby!

 About The Author

Suzanne Doyle-Ingram is mother of two girls, Hana and Alexa, and married to her best friend James, who is a stay-at-home dad. Suzanne is also the creator of the Pregnancy Leads to New Babies.com website (http://www.pregnancy-leads-to-new-babies.com), an informative site for pregnant women and new Moms, which provides information on pregnancy, labor, and how to take care of your new baby. As a family, Suzanne, James, and the girls enjoy kite flying, swimming at the beach, and visiting new restaurants. Visit her website at www.pregnancy-leads-to-new-babies.com for more of Suzanne’s articles.

This article was posted on September 12, 2005

How to Use a Birth Ball For Pregnancy And Labor: Finding Comfort …

This is a great article and video about some of the ways that you can use a birth ball during your pregnancy and labor.  Practicing ahead of time on your own, with your partner, and with your doula will help tremendously in preparation and helping you to feel comfortable with the ball.

On Thursday, May 15th I woke up and within an hour started having a bloody show and could tell that the contractions were different than before. I was so excited that things were finally starting to happen! I decided to go ahead with my plans for the day, and asked Mom to accompany me in taking the children to the library and grocery store. We got back home around 1:30 PM. I had been having sporadic contractions that felt different than usual, but nothing regular. The bloody show came and went all day long. I tried to take a nap that afternoon but couldn’t sleep, every time I dozed off a contraction would wake me up. Nelson came home at the normal time and we had a typical evening at home with the children. I walked for about 1 mile with Mom at about 7:30-8:00 PM, then came home and got the children in bed. I took a shower, then organized a few things around the bedroom in advance preparation for the birth. I was still having contractions and knew it would happen sometime soon, but I had never had a labor that was “slow to start” like this one before.

At 11:00, right after my shower, I asked Nelson to check my cervix. He was actually the only one who did this for me during my entire pregnancy and birth! We had measured his finger, and he had already enjoyed being able to feel the baby’s head a few days beforehand. This time he said he could definitely feel a change from the night before (which was the last time he had checked), and his best guess was that I was 4 cm dilated and at least 75% effaced. I called my midwife to give her the report, and she said that she was going to try and get some sleep but to call her back when anything changed.

Somewhere around 11:30 or so I started feeling tense and could tell that I was also getting anxious about what was coming. I had been working hard on not allowing my fears to overwhelm me, and knew that I needed to relax and try to sleep – not knowing when labor would really get started or how much sleep I would get that night. So right before midnight I laid down and turned on my Hypnobirthing CD, it was 22 minutes long. I did not watch the clock during that time, but I counted 5 contractions – with another one immediately following. They weren’t too strong yet, but the relaxation helped a lot and I had to stop and breathe through the contraction that happened after I got up and went downstairs. Looking back, I am convinced that the relaxation I did at that time was very instrumental in helping my body go into active labor when it did.

Nelson was working on the computer when I told him that the contractions had started getting closer together. I decided to write them down for awhile, and between contractions I unloaded the dishwasher and did some other cleaning. I wrote down contractions for about 30 minutes starting at about 12:20, and they were quickly progressing from 3-4 minutes apart down to 2-3 minutes apart.  Nelson was very calm about it and said that he thought it would be fine to call our midwife now, since my labor seemed to have established itself. I didn’t want to call her too soon, but remembering how fast Philip’s labor was helped me to decide to go ahead and have her let the other midwife know and start on their way. So I called her at 12:45 AM on May 16th and asked her to go ahead and come.

I was feeling ready to go upstairs and lie down at that point, but Nelson made the comment that he was looking forward to eating my “labor project” cookies, so I decided to at least get the cookies started so that he could have his wish. I had previously come up with several ideas to keep me busy and distracted during my labor, and all week long I had been looking forward to making my favorite oatmeal cookies when the big day came. At that particular moment I could have cared less about eating cookies, but they did keep me busy and active for awhile longer. I got them all mixed up in the mixer, and Mom was just arriving as I was putting the first batch into the oven. I was so glad to see her so that I could give her the rest of the job – my back was really starting to hurt during the contractions and I wanted nothing more than to go upstairs and lie down! Nelson tried to encourage me to stay up awhile longer, but I had already had enough and didn’t listen to him any more.

I laid back down in my favorite side-lying position on my bed at about 1:20 AM and turned on my hypnobirthing CD again. It was less than 5 minutes or so when my midwife arrived and came upstairs to greet me. I was much more comfortable lying down, and although the contractions were getting very intense – I was able to relax by listening to the CD instructions and lots of deep breathing. I could hear things going on around me – people arriving, people talking, the birth pool being filled, the front door opening and closing, and in the background – the sound of rain from outside of our open bedroom window. My midwife listened to the baby’s heart rate shortly after she arrived, and said it was “perfect.” This gave me a lot of peace and helped me to remember why I was in labor – I would be meeting me new baby very soon!

After the hypnobirthing CD was over, I asked my midwife to start the tape of Nelson reading scriptures to me with music in the background. She did that, but I didn’t really listen to it because I started listening to her voice instead. She said that she wouldn’t have thought that I needed to be talked through the contractions, but because I was able to tell her that I liked it, she kept doing it. She was also running her hand lightly up and down my back with each breath, and I was doing really well focusing on the sound of her voice and the feel of her hand. The “balloon breathing” technique that I had practiced with hypnobirthing didn’t take away any of the pain, but it did help with keeping me relaxed and focused on the opening of my cervix. At one point I asked her to put some frankincense on my lower belly and back, and another time they used a warm washcloth with an essential oil mixture on it of jasmine, geranium, and lavender.

Nelson also took a more active role in supporting me during this birth, because I had previously asked him to do so. He talked to me a lot more, reassuring me and reminding me that we would be meeting our baby soon. Nelson and my midwife together were a huge support for me in being able to stay calm, relaxed, and in overcoming my fears. One thing I kept saying to myself over and over again the whole time was “perfect peace.” God had given me the scripture just that day from Isaiah which says “He will keep thee in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee.” I just continued praying for that perfect peace to be in my heart and in my body, so that my body could do the job it needed to do and bring my baby to me.

I’m not sure what time it was – maybe about 2:15 AM, that Nelson told me that the pool was ready for me to get into anytime I wanted. The contractions were getting harder to handle, and I was going through an inner struggle to remain relaxed. I felt very comfortable on the bed (all things considered) at that point, and didn’t want to ruin my relaxation by getting up. But I kept thinking about the fact that the bed hadn’t been prepared for the birth yet (no plastic under the sheets) and my midwife also reminded me that I should empty my bladder once more before the birth. So I forced myself to get up and into the bathroom. At this point I realized that the other midwife was in the room, sitting in my rocking chair, and I felt very relieved and glad that everyone was there who I needed to be there at that moment. Just as I thought, the contractions immediately intensified and I had a very hard time dealing with the next one that came while I was sitting on the toilet. Nelson came and talked me through it. While I was there, my midwife brought me several drops of myrrh oil to rub on my perineum. We had read that this would help with the pain of crowning, and looking back – I hardly felt anything at all during the moment the baby was coming out – so I guess it worked!

I had about 2-3 contractions on the toilet, and then decided I needed to get into the pool. I had another contraction on the way to the pool and then felt so relieved to be able to lie back and relax again in the water. I knew things were progressing pretty fast so I asked my midwife to go and wake up the girls, they wanted to be there during my labor so that they could be my doulas. They both came and stood on either side of me, rubbing my hands. At this point I was working hard keeping my goal in mind, visualizing myself lying back down on the bed in a while with my new baby in my arms and suckling her at my breast.

I don’t remember exactly how long I was in the pool before the birth, my best guess is only about 15 minutes or so. I did not want anyone to yell at me this time to get me to stop pushing, I just wanted to let it happen. I think I had resigned myself to the fact that my babies just like to come out fast, and there isn’t anything I can do about it. I felt the baby moving down with each contraction, and my lower back started hurting terribly. I actually felt a little bit of warning before the pushing urge came, and I consciously decided to say it aloud “I want to push the baby out now” so as to let them know that the baby would be coming soon. I heard my midwife open up her gloves, and then everything was quiet again between my contractions. I felt the baby moving down again, and with the next contraction I pushed hard. I felt a pop (which was the water breaking – we had all forgotten that it hadn’t happened yet) followed by two big lumps of something – the baby’s head and body. It happened so fast that I didn’t have time to feel any pain associated with the actual birth, only the contractions were still hurting. I heard someone say my name to calm me down, but it was already too late – the baby was in the water and it was over. Nelson caught her (with the midwife’s assistance) and he brought her up to me and we both held her with our hands. I almost immediately looked between her legs and said “it’s a girl!” I had to look again a couple of minutes later just to make sure I had seen it right.

Summer’s birth was peaceful and I was able to let go of my fears, just like I had been praying for. She weighed 7 lbs. exactly and is a beautiful blessing to our family!

My official due date was January 6, 2004, but I had been feeling for awhile that he might come early.  I started losing some mucous plug at about 34 ½ weeks, and was also dilated to 1 cm at that time. Nelson kept telling me that it was just wishful thinking on my part, but I guess he turned out to be wrong!  We were also hoping for a 2004 baby, because then Nelson would get a full 2 weeks paid vacation from work, which he did not get because Philip was born in 2003.  So we were counting down the days until New Year’s.

On the evening of December 26th, we were having Bible time in the living room and I was holding Brianna in my lap while we were singing hymns.  I felt a contraction that went all the way around to my back and immediately said something to Nelson about it.  This was at about 8:00 PM.  I did not take it seriously, but I knew that feeling it in my back could mean that something was happening. We put the children to bed, and then spent some time alone together for a few minutes.  I kept having sporadic contractions, and I told Nelson that I didn’t think I would be able to sleep through them if they didn’t slow down.  I remember telling Nelson that I was feeling really guilty about possibly being in labor before January 1st, and he told me to go ahead and have the baby whenever I wanted to, he wouldn’t be upset about it.

I was really more annoyed by them than anything else, because I wanted to get to sleep. They weren’t painful at all yet, just distracting.  I lay in bed and watched TV from about 9:30-11:00, trying to relax.  After that Nelson came to bed and I decided to get up and take a shower, which I did. The contractions were getting a little MORE distracting, and I was beginning to wonder if this might be the night. I got out of the shower just before midnight, and then laid back down in bed for an hour while Nelson slept. I could not sleep or relax, so I decided to get up and go downstairs. I started timing the contractions and writing them down, and found that they were regular and coming about every 2 minutes, starting at 1 AM. 

I decided to call my midwife at about 1:15, and she said she and her assistant would be on their way shortly.  I called Mom at her house and my mother-in-law at her house at about 1:30, apologizing to all of them for calling so soon and waking them up.  I really thought that I was calling everyone way too early, and that it would be sometime the next day before he would be born.  By this time I knew that I was in labor, and at 1:06 AM I took my first dose of 4000 mg of Vitamin C, and set the timer for 1 hour.  I went back upstairs, woke up Nelson, and told him that this was it and he needed to get up and shower.  He did that, and then started getting things ready, including cleaning the sink and toilet, making the bed, moving furniture around, blowing up the swimming pool, etc.  He worked until about 2:30 when I finally asked him to stop.

I paced the floor downstairs for awhile, reading Psalms and singing to myself during contractions.  I started feeling some back pain, which I relieved by putting pressure on my back. At 2:06 I took 4000 more mg of Vit C, and at the same moment my mom walked in the door. I walked around downstairs for a few more minutes, and then decided to go upstairs and see how Nelson was doing.  I was beginning to feel the need for his support, and I wanted him to use the vibrating massager on my back.

I put on my swimsuit which had the crotch cut out of it, and my robe on over that.  It was hot upstairs, but I still had my sense of modesty at that time.  I tried several different positions during contractions, including kneeling down beside the bed, and then finally started leaning against the wall while Nelson used the vibrating massager on my back. My midwives came in during one of those contractions, and afterwards I remember thinking that I was probably about 3-4 cm dilated at that point, and we had a long ways to go.  The contractions were very manageable, with lots of time between them and I could easily carry on a conversation between times. 

They checked the heart rate of the baby and discovered his heart was going down to 80 bpm during contractions.  I could hear that it was way too slow even during the contractions, and that scared me.  They checked it again a couple more times, and then my midwife said that she was somewhat concerned and needed to check me. I laid down on the bed on my side with my body pillow between my legs.  She checked me and said that I was already 7 cm dilated!  I couldn’t believe it!  This was at about 3:00 AM. She also said that my water was bulging and would break any minute.  I requested that they go ahead and wake up the children at this point, so they would be wide awake when the time came.  The heart rate was still going down too low, so she tried to break my water, but was not successful. But by this time I had gotten into a better position, semi-reclining on the bed leaning up against Nelson, and during the next contraction the heart rate was fine! My midwife told me that the baby really liked this position, and asked if I could stay there for a little while. I thought this was a great idea, I didn’t want to hear that heart rate going down any more!

In the meantime, the swimming pool was being filled.  We had not started filling it until the midwives arrived, because Nelson didn’t know it would take so long, and I wanted to stay out of the water as long as possible. So by the time we started it was pretty much too late.  I was 9 cm dilated a few minutes after the first check, and so when they finally told me that I could get in the pool, I didn’t want to anymore, I just wanted to stay on the bed where I was.  One of my reasons was not wanting to chance the baby’s heart rate going down again, although I don’t know if that was a reasonable thought or not at the time.

My mother-in-law arrived at about 3:15 or 3:20, and I remember asking if my sister-in-law had come along with her.  She hadn’t.  They and the children were right outside the bedroom door waiting for us to call them in to witness the birth, they were talking to them and praying for me at the same time. I started vocalizing through the contractions, they had gotten really intense at about this point. My midwife was talking me through them by reminding me that it was almost over, I would get to see my baby soon, and I was saying over and over again – “I don’t want to.” Nelson will never let me forget those words!  I was really fearing the urge to push, and didn’t want to have to go through that again.  Finally the urge came, and I screamed at the top of my lungs as I pushed little Philip out into the world in one contraction.  The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck tightly two times, they told me later, and that was what was causing his heart rate to go down.  After he came out they unwound him immediately and put him up on my belly, I watched him take his first breath and start crying.  My children did not get to see him being born this time, but they heard everything, including his first cry, and came into the room at this point.  My only thought besides how beautiful he was, was that I still have to push out the placenta!  While we were waiting, my father-in-law came upstairs and peeked into the room, and we shooed him out the door and said we weren’t ready yet.  Poor Papa. My mother-in-law commented on how loud he cried, and asked if our other children had done that at birth. 

Philip was born at 3:31 AM (approximately) and weighed 6 lbs. 13 oz. and was 20 ½ inches long.  He was much smaller than we all thought he would be, which made for an easier birth, and I didn’t even tear for the first time!  This was my easiest labor yet, and I attribute it to having a smaller baby along with the Vitamin C that I took only twice. 

After he was born, we bonded with him for awhile, and then they got the two of us into the swimming pool for an herbal bath. That was really nice.  The midwives left at about 6:00 AM, and my in-laws decided to stay and sleep in the guest room for awhile.  We put the children back to bed and tried to rest.  At about 7:30 we were in our room trying to sleep when the doorbell rang.  It was my sister-in-law, expecting to get there and see me still in labor!  She was very surprised and said that she had not been able to sleep all night after we had called.  Instead she worked on finishing up the baby blanket that she made for Philip, her very first one ever!  It was wonderful to see her, and I am so glad she decided to come over, even though everything was done at that point.

Philip was born on a Sabbath morning at home, right onto our very own bed!  What a wonderful experience to have a 2nd home birth.  We were very happy with our midwives, and very happy with the whole experience!  I would have enjoyed giving birth in the water again, but given the circumstances, it may have been better this way anyhow.  We are so blessed to have been given another son!

My due date was November 26th, 2001, and we knew that this baby was a girl. We were so excited to have a baby sister for Courtney!

On Nov. 25th I woke up feeling quite a few contractions, and hoped that this was the day!  I called our midwife, and then decided to mow our front lawn to help things along.  After that I took a nap, and when I woke up the contractions had stopped.  This was about the 3rd time this had happened – and I was starting to feel discouraged with the false alarms.  I decided to try my hardest to forget about the whole thing, and not even think about any contractions that I might have. 

On Monday, Nov. 26th Nelson stayed home from work because his back was out – he could hardly walk!  He told me I’d better not have the baby that day because he wouldn’t be able to be a good coach!  In the morning on Monday my mom took the kids and I to town – mostly to give us something to do since I had no plans for the entire week.  We got home and I took a nap – but woke up early because I was very hot.  It was probably about 3:00 in the afternoon, and I came out and laid down on the couch for awhile, trying to cool off.  I noticed that I was having some pretty hard contractions, but I was still trying to ignore them so I didn’t keep track of the time at all for awhile. 

It was about 4:30 PM when I went to the bathroom and lost quite a bit of mucous plug, along with the tiniest amount of blood.  I decided that it was time to start timing some of my contractions, just in case.  I also had Nelson check me, and he said he thought I was dilated between 2-3 cm. I called our midwife, and she told me to time contractions for 1 hour, and then call her back. Mom and I decided to take a short walk, and both of the kids wanted to go with us.  We walked only over to Mom’s house and back, she wanted to get her cordless phone. By this time, I was fairly certain that the baby would be born that night – the contractions were between 7-8 minutes apart, but they were getting stronger and starting to hurt more during contractions. Nelson checked me again and thought I was dilated to about 4 cm already! I called our midwife back, and she said she would get ready to come, but she didn’t think it was time for her to come yet.

I continued walking through the house – also calling quite a few more people to let them know and to ask them to pray for us.  In the meantime, Nelson was busy preparing our bathroom and bedroom for the birth.  I guess it was about 7:00 or so when I decided that Nelson should start filling up the tub, because I was getting very uncomfortable during contractions.  I was feeling a little bit anxious about our midwife getting here on time, and Nelson and Mom strongly encouraged me to call and and have her come, so that I would be able to relax better. I started timing contractions again, and they were 2-3 minutes apart, so I called and she said she would be here shortly.

I got in the tub a little bit after 7:30 PM.  The water was very relaxing to me immediately, it was amazing how much better the contractions felt!  My belly wasn’t completely covered by the water because our tub isn’t very deep, so I started having Nelson pour warm water over me during the contractions.  This was very comforting to me, and we continued this throughout labor. 

The midwife and her assistants got here at about 8:00 PM.  They sat down by the tub and talked to me for a few minutes, and then started getting their things ready and set up around the room.  I asked our midwife to check me, and she said I was 5 cm dilated and 100% effaced. We talked between contractions for awhile, and then decided to have Nelson get in the tub with me to see if I would be more comfortable.  I told him not to get mad at me if I changed my mind immediately and wanted him to get out!  But it was very comfortable having him right there behind me – I was much more comfortable and I enjoyed having him be able to touch me and be so close.

Matthew and Courtney came in to see me a couple of times, their eyes were wide and I could tell they were very excited about what was happening.  Courtney wanted to get in the tub and “take a bath” with me! We decided not to put them to bed unless they got very fussy, we wanted them to be able to witness the birth.

The time went by very quickly, and I could tell that the contractions were getting closer together and lasting longer.  I enjoyed listening to a tape with scripture verses that Nelson had made for me a few weeks earlier.  At about 9:30 my midwife checked me again, and I was 8 cm dilated! She said that we would have a baby soon and asked everyone to turn off the fans, a/c, etc. so that there wouldn’t be a draft when the baby was born.  I was very relieved that I thought it would be over very soon.  They kept having me drink lemonade and water, which tasted very good because I was getting hot from sitting in the water for so long.

After a few more minutes with nothing happening, we turned the fans back on again – we were hot and things were progressing more slowly than we thought.  I was still handling the contractions well – they were very manageable, but I was getting discouraged that nothing was happening.  I had my midwife check me again at 10:15, and I was still at 8 cm.  She said that sometimes when the water hasn’t broken yet, the baby gets stuck in a certain spot, and there might be a certain period of time when I don’t seem to be progressing.  She said that we could sit and wait to see what would happen, or she could have me push a little bit against her fingers and see if that helped. I decided to try that – I was ready to get this show on the road!  As soon as I pushed during the next contraction, I felt a big pop and the baby’s head moved down – my water had broken. 

Now we had to wait and see what would happen next.  I started having much more painful contractions right away, these were hard to deal with! I had a lot of feelings of doubt and fear right about then, because the contractions got so much stronger so suddenly.  There weren’t very many of them, however, and I started feeling an urge to push.  My midwife checked, and I was 9 ½ cm dilated, almost there!  At 10:31 the urge to push became very strong, and I started screaming/grunting like I do every time.  My midwife called for the kids to come in, and I could hear one of them crying, I couldn’t tell which one.  Someone put my hand down in the water, and I could feel the baby’s head starting to crown.  My midwife kept saying “Breathe” and “Brenda, listen to my voice – breathe!” She was trying to get me to stop pushing so the baby wouldn’t come out too fast.  I tried to do what she said, but my body wouldn’t listen, and I pushed her head out very quickly. I heard her saying something about the cord being around the baby’s neck, but I only had time for one or two breaths before my body started pushing again, and before I knew it the baby was in the water. The assistant brought her up out of the water, and told me “Hold your baby Brenda.”  At that point I finally opened my eyes (they had been tightly closed during all of this) and saw Brianna resting on my leg.  She was very white with vernix, and I remember the feeling of it on my fingers. I was so out of breath from pushing that I didn’t try to hold her much for a few seconds.  But then I realized that the midwife was saying something – and she sounded urgent.  She said “I need the cord clamp, NOW!”  I didn’t know what was happening, but I knew something was wrong, and I immediately looked down at Brianna to see if she was breathing.  She hadn’t taken her first breath yet, and as I watched her, I got to see her breathe in and then out for the first time.  She started crying immediately, a wonderful sound!  My instincts told me that she was okay, but my midwife was still talking loudly and urgently – I couldn’t understand what was wrong.  Then she said “Brenda, I need you to get out of the tub now.” I didn’t want to move, but I looked down and saw that the water was red with blood, and I knew she was right. For all I knew, that could have been my own blood, and I started feeling weak from the thought of it. I gave the baby to the assistant, and they all helped me get out of the tub and onto the bed.  They examined me, and soon put my fears to rest by saying that I was not bleeding. Then my midwife pushed down on my belly a couple of times and asked me to push, and the placenta came out without any difficulty.

In a couple more minutes, the assistant handed Brianna back to me wrapped in towels.  I tried to nurse her 2 different times, but she wasn’t ready yet.  I hadn’t yet noticed that she was definitely a girl, and I asked everyone to confirm that for me. After awhile, she started nursing.  My midwife told me that I had a small tear, about 1 inch long but not deep.  We discussed it, and then decided not to do stitches.  I also found out by listening to everyone talking that the umbilical cord had torn during the delivery, therefore causing the panic that had happened earlier.  She decided that they were taking the cord from around the baby’s neck, but it wasn’t completely free yet when her body came out with such force that the cord tore completely apart!  They didn’t have the cord clamp ready yet, so she was holding onto both ends of the cord with her hands, and didn’t have any hands free – so that’s why she sounded so urgent in telling the other midwives what to do.  They knew the blood in the water was coming from the cord, but they also needed to examine me and make sure I was okay, so that’s why they made me get out right away.

Once everything settled down, Mom and the kids came back into the room, and they got to hold the baby for the first time.  The expressions on their faces were priceless, they loved their baby sister so much! They held her for a few minutes, and then said goodnight and went to bed almost 4 hours later than normal.

Brenda’s Birth Story – Baby #1

My first baby was born on November 10, 1997. His due date was November 6th. I have birthed five more children since then, in 1999, 2001, 2003, 2006, and 2008. We interviewed a midwife at the beginning of my pregnancy, thinking about the possibility of a home birth. But in the end we decided on a hospital birth with our OB/GYN, and we wrote a birth plan, hoping for a natural birth.

I worked as a Kindergarten teacher throughout my pregnancy. My last day was November 7th, when I finally decided to stop working. That was a Friday, and on Sunday night I had trouble sleeping. I was having mild contractions about every 10 minutes for an hour or so, and then at about 1 AM my water broke. My mom, husband and I drove to the hospital, arriving at about 3 AM. I got into bed to be hooked up to the fetal monitor, and the nurses left us alone for several hours. I stayed in bed the whole time, the contractions were fairly strong and I was tired from not having any sleep. I had very much wanted to have a totally natural birth, but at some point I started thinking that I wanted an epidural. I couldn’t decide; my mind was fighting with what my body was feeling. I was just about at the point to ask for it, when my doctor came in, around 6:30 AM. She examined me and said that I had made a lot of progress. She gave me a hug, looked me in the eye, and said “I know you can do this, you’re almost there!”  Her encouragement was just what I needed at that moment. She suggested I get up and take a shower, which I did for quite awhile. The hot water was very soothing and relaxing to me.

After I got out of the shower and back into the bed, things started moving faster, and I went into transition. At that point I knew that my baby would be coming soon because my cervix was dilating quickly, and the nurses started making preparations for the birth. I started feeling the urge to push, and the doctor came back and said that I was completely dilated. I felt the urge to push very strongly, and I grunted loudly as I pushed. I only pushed for about 10 minutes when his head came out at 9:15 AM, followed right away by the rest of his body. They put him on my chest and said “It’s a boy!” I didn’t know it at the time, but later I found out that the doctor had done a local anesthetic right at the last. I also needed just a few stitches for a small tear. Matthew was wide awake and nursed beautifully almost right away! This was also very important to me as I wanted to breastfeed exclusively; I was very much against using formula or any kind of supplementation. We stayed in the hospital for just over 24 hours, with my husband staying with us.

 After Matthew’s birth, I felt so empowered, and stronger than I had ever felt in my life – I felt like I could do anything! I loved being a mama, and stayed home with him for 3 months. I then went back to work for 3 months and have been at home with my children ever since.

Who needs a doula? Every pregnant woman can have a more positive birth experience by having a doula attend her birth!

First time moms greatly benefit from the presence of a doula. The experience of labor and birth is brand new and a doula can help reassure Mom and help her to work with the new sensations her body is feeling.

Moms giving birth in a hospital are especially helped by having a doula with them. A doula will act as an advocate between Mom and the caregivers to communicate her wishes and assist her in having the best birth possible. This is particularly important if Mom desires a natural birth without medical interventions, or if she wants to minimize their use. If medical interventions are necessary, a doula will educate the parents on their options and encourage them through the entire process.

Moms with a previous disappointing birth experience are much more likely to have a future positive birth with a doula present. This includes situations such as previously being medicated, labor induction, having to stay in bed during labor, unnecessary episiotomies, forceps or vacuum usage, long labor, c-section, breastfeeding success, and postpartum depression. All of these scenarios are shown by research to be dramatically improved by the presence of a doula.

In a recent study, (source) women cared for during labor by a birth doula, compared to those receiving usual care were

26% less likely to give birth by cesarean section
41% less likely to give birth with a vacuum extractor or forceps
28% less likely to use any analgesia or anesthesia
33% less likely to be dissatisfied or negatively rate their birth experience

As your doula I will provide:

• Assistance with birth planning, prenatal care, and birth partner preparation
• 2-3 prenatal visits and at least 2 postpartum visits, depending on the need
• Availability for phone consultations anytime during pregnancy and afterwards
• Continuous labor support from early labor (as needed) throughout the immediate postpartum period
• Suggestions and support for pain coping techniques, positions during labor, calm birthing atmosphere, awareness of Mom’s changing needs
• Assistance with parent-infant bonding, breastfeeding help as needed
• Newborn and Mom care advice and assistance throughout the postpartum weeks

My experience:

• Certified Doula with Childbirth International since 2006
• I have experience as a doula with home birth, hospital birth, epidurals, cesarean section, high-risk pregnancy, VBAC, teen moms, breastfeeding problems, and more
• Certified Baby’s First Massage Instructor
• Mother of 6 children : 2 hospital births and 4 home births (including 3 water births)
• Extensive breastfeeding experience – total of 12 years between 6 children so far
• Herbal/natural remedy knowledge for both pregnant moms and babies/children
• Personal experience dealing with miscarriages – I can help with miscarriage care and emotional support if needed

Please Contact Me if you need a doula in San Antonio and are interested in my services.

Beautiful Home Birth baby boy