After Baby #6 was born, we took a trip when she was 6 weeks old, and she cried pretty much the whole time. I didn’t know what the problem was at the time, but once we got home we realized that she was not gaining enough weight and was very hungry. I threw myself into pumping, herbal supplements, lactation consultations, online research, prescription medication, and all kinds of home remedies including eating oatmeal (and a lot of other food that caused me to gain 20 pounds!), and drinking beer. Nothing helped, and when she was 3 months old I finally relented and very reluctantly started giving her some formula. That first bottle was so hard – and I cried so much! But she needed it. When I got e-mail updates on how dangerous formula is, I felt very guilty, so I started deleting them without reading. My pride had taken a huge hit, I never thought I would be giving formula to my baby! When I went out in public and had to prepare a bottle, I thought everyone was looking at me and judging me for not breastfeeding my baby.

When I got pregnant with Baby #7, I did a lot of reading and consulting with professionals on how to prevent this problem from happening again. I was advised to breastfeed and/or pump every hour around the clock for at least 2 weeks after the birth in order to bring in a very good supply. I followed the instructions religiously, took many supplements, and because my diet was also excellent at the time, I thought surely things would be better. But God had other plans, and the same issues surfaced again. I had to start supplementing again at about 3 months old, and this time we decided to make our own homemade goat milk based formula (we milk our own goats.) Due to my constant pumping and nursing, I was also a walking zombie most of the time, and was not able to be fully present as a wife and mother to the rest of my family. It was hard, but I had to accept again that I could not provide all that my baby needed.

With Baby #8, who is nearly 6 months old at the time of this writing, we prayed a lot and chose to take a more moderate approach. I was not able to enjoy the newborn stage with Baby #7, and I wanted to fully enjoy my Babymoon as well as be there for the rest of my family. I did pump some for a few weeks, and I nursed at least every 2 hours around the clock. I needed to start supplementing at about 2 1/2 months this time, and we are currently giving her 4 bottles of supplemental milk per day. I do still breastfeed her several times a day, and usually twice during the night.

Do I know the cause of my low milk supply? Not really. I think there are probably a few contributing factors, including my age (I am 39), although I know many other moms my age who have abundant milk supplies. Having so many children could have something to do with it, although I know many other moms of large families who have produced plenty of milk for all of their babies. One of my breasts produces very little compared to the other one, and that breast also had a couple of minor breast infections over the years. But the infections were never severe enough for a doctor visit, and should not technically have caused a problem. One of the lactation consultants I saw suggested that I might have calcium deposits in my breasts that prevent the milk from coming down properly, and therefore the supply diminishes quickly because of lack of emptying. I have not had an ultrasound or other testing to confirm this, because I’m not sure what we would do even if we knew for sure that this was the case. Calcium deposits are fairly common as women age, but most women either don’t have many babies, or perhaps they aren’t as troubled by their low milk supplies and simply turn to formula without trying to diagnose their problem. I have not been able to find a doctor who is experienced with this problem or who knows of any suggestions or solutions.

I have had to grieve the loss of fully breastfeeding with each of my babies, even though I have come to accept my problem as God’s will. I have even made a list of blessings to help me accept it. One of the big blessings is that I have learned to have compassion for other mothers who have trouble breastfeeding.

Another blessing that has come about with my last baby is that I have been graciously given breastmilk by 4 different mothers for my baby. A friend of mine donated a small amount of milk for Baby #6, and I was very grateful, but the amount was limited as she needed it for her own baby. However, this time I have been able to greatly reduce the amount of homemade formula that I give my baby, and I am so thankful! More to come in Part Two of my story…

The Refuge Website

The Minica Family’s Walk for Life Donation Page

Unfortunately, our current culture is one in which most young men and women don’t have the experience they really need when they become parents for the first time. Families are smaller, and girls and women are encouraged to be away from the home and family much more than in previous generations. Because of this, when many new babies are born, their parents feel unsure in how to take care of them, and especially how to soothe their cries. This book is very straightforward and easy to read and understand, giving new parents the techniques and therefore the confidence they need to care for their newborns.

Being a Christian myself, I don’t agree with the perspective that the author comes from when he talks about the evolution of man and babies being born 3 months too soon. Personally, I know from the Bible that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, and God’s plan for each baby’s birth is in His perfect time. I do agree with the author’s belief that newborn babies handle the first 3 months of their lives much better when the transition from womb to the outside world is a gentle one. The utter helplessness of my newborn daughter is God’s way of drawing me close to her. I have discovered through my experience that babies cannot be spoiled for the first 3 months of their lives, but rather they simply need to be with their mothers as much as possible during this special time that goes by so quickly.

I really like the 5 S’s that the author gives – Swaddling, Side/Stomach, Shushing, Swinging, and Sucking. They are very easy to remember, and that is important for me when I’m up with a baby in the middle of the night and too foggy-headed to remember what I read in the parenting books about that night’s particular problem. Each baby is different, and there are no cure-all solutions that will work for every baby, but the techniques in this book do work. Patience is needed to find out what works best for your baby.

I highly recommend this book for parents having a new baby, whether or not this is your first child. The only caution I would give is for Christians who might be offended by the references to evolution, but these are overlooked fairly easily.

You can buy this book here, and if you use this link a small amount of the sale will be donated to Doula San Antonio, who uses the donated funds to help moms in crisis pregnancies around the San Antonio area. Thank you!

Author: Brenda Minica, CD (CBI)

I have also heard a lot about the benefits of ingesting the placenta, and have also worked with a few clients who chose to do this after their births. But this blog post lists some benefits I had not heard of, and now I am even more interested! I know it sounds gross at first, but if it will increase my milk supply, help my baby sleep better, and increase my energy – I might be willing to try it if God blesses us with another baby! I’m almost 6 weeks postpartum with my 8th baby right now, and at the moment I’m feeling a little bit of regret that I chose not to save this placenta. I have a friend who has 2 placentas in her freezer – and I’m thinking she’s pretty smart!

At 7:15 Nelson’s alarm went off and I asked him to check me – he measured his fingers and we decided that I was over 4 cm dilated, maybe close to 5 cm, and quite a bit effaced although he couldn’t tell how much. I called my midwife, her instructions were to eat a meal, take 2000 mg calcium, take a shower, and then try to take a nap. The calcium would either let me take a nap or help me go into active labor. I also called the rest of my birthing team – they are all going to go to church but be on call if I need them to leave.

At 8:15 AM I ate 3 fried eggs and a glass of milk. I had to force myself to finish the eggs because I didn’t feel like eating. I listened to Birthing Affirmations again while typing and eating. Nelson went to get calcium from Mom because we’re out.

After eating, I went upstairs, took a shower, and then asked Nelson to start getting the room ready for the birth. I wasn’t sure how soon the baby would be born, but I knew it could go fast once labor got started, so I felt better having things done. Nelson cleaned the bathroom and rearranged the bedroom for the birth pool, then blew up the birth pool in its place. I also had my daughter Courtney fetch several things for me and make the bed with our extra sheets. Courtney was very happy to be asked to help! I had her time contractions for about 45 minutes starting just after 9:30 AM. They were only 2-3 minutes apart, but not very long and sporadic in strength. However, because they were pretty close together, and because I was using Hypnobabies and felt it was really helping, I decided to call Alisa and the rest of my birth team at about 10:10 AM to ask them to come. Alisa said she would come soon, but we decided to wait to have Jennifer come until Alisa got here and could check my progress.

People started arriving at about 10:30 or so – every few minutes for over an hour. Alisa called to make sure I was okay, because she had been delayed slightly, and then arrived at about 11:45 or so. During that time I also had my 3 sons come up to say hello to me, and told them I probably wouldn’t see them again until after the birth. My daughter Brianna also came up to join us after Mom arrived to take care of the other little ones downstairs. Because of all of this commotion, my contractions got even more sporadic and spaced out somewhat. I began to worry that I had jumped the gun in calling everyone, and apologized to all of them as they came up to greet me. Of course they all said it was okay, and not to worry.

For all of the above time period, I had felt better walking around my bedroom rather than sitting or lying down. During contractions I lifted my belly, which felt really good and made me feel very comfortable. I was not feeling any pain during the contractions, just pressure which extended around to my back, which I recognized from my previous births. I had not had any bloody show earlier in the morning, but I did start having that sometime in the midmorning. Also during this time, I was listening to the Birthing Affirmations track in my headphones, but oftentimes in only one ear so that I could hear and interact with the others in the room.

After Alisa arrived, she took her time in filling out the paperwork and asking me the necessary questions. There wasn’t any hurry since my contractions had spaced out to anywhere from 2-6 minutes and weren’t strong at all. Somewhere around 12:30, I had her check my cervix to see if I was making any progress. I was 4 cm dilated, completely effaced, soft & stretchy cervix, and the baby was at a -1 station. Alisa said that I was right on the edge of active labor, and she suggested that I lie down and try to take a nap. I had already been wanting to have some quiet time to get back into my Hypnobabies tracks, I felt that my labor had lessened because of all of the visitors and commotion. So everyone went downstairs to eat lunch and left me by myself for awhile.

I laid down on the bed and started listening to my Easy First Stage track. It was very relaxing and brought a lot of peace back to my mind. I was not able to go to sleep, and after a few minutes I noticed that the contractions were picking up in strength again. After awhile I had to go to the bathroom, and Nelson came up to check on me when he heard me walking around. I asked him to stay and he laid down next to me. My back was to him, but he kept his head very close to my head and his closeness was very comforting. He started using the massager on my back during the contractions, and that felt really good. Later he told me that he was praying for my labor to get going, he knew that I was anxious and felt bad for everyone waiting on me downstairs. He told me to say “Peace” at the beginning of each contraction to give me the comfort I needed as well as give him the signal to start massaging. He informally kept track of the timing and length of the contractions by watching our digital clock. They started out only about 45 seconds long, but after awhile they progressed to well over a minute long, and they were also getting more intense with much more pressure. I asked him to go and get Alisa, and she came back and asked if she should call Jennifer to come. I could barely answer her at this point, they were getting very strong – but I told her yes. It turns out that it was a good thing she called then, or Jennifer wouldn’t have made it!

I had been ignoring the need to get up and go to the bathroom again for a few contractions, because I knew that the trip would be hard and make it more difficult to maintain my relaxation and hypnosis. So just when a contraction came and I thought to myself “I have to get up right after this one” I lost control of my bladder! I was very embarrassed and apologized several times. Nelson was right there with me and assured me that it was okay, and everyone in the room also told me that it was okay for me to go in the bed. I hadn’t even realized that they were all back in the room yet. Once my bladder was empty I noticed immediately that the contraction intensity lessened and I was much more comfortable again. I kept listening to Hypnobabies and after 2-3 more contractions my bladder emptied itself again. I had been very well hydrated! During this time Nelson had been filling up the birth pool, and thankfully said that I could get in.

I got in the birth pool about 2:30 PM, and it felt so good! I asked someone to start my Easy First Stage track on the CD player rather than the headphones. Nelson, Courtney, Brianna, Keyla, and Alisa gathered around me, and starting affirming what they heard the lady saying on the CD. I really appreciated hearing each one of their voices. Nelson kept talking me through each contraction like I had been asking him to do for awhile. Courtney held my hand and quoted several scriptures for me. Brianna also quoted Philippians 4:13 and touched me softly. Keyla prayed out loud for me. I was saying “Ooooh” softly through each contraction. I continued saying “Peace” at the beginning of each contraction, and everyone said it along with me.

The contractions built up in intensity again after a few minutes, and I started feeling the familiar desire to escape. Right at the end I said a few things like “I just need a break” and “I want it to be over.” I knew that feeling this way meant that it was almost time to push the baby out, but I didn’t realize how soon it really was. Jennifer arrived sometime during the last few minutes, and when Alisa told me she was here I felt glad and said “Good.” During one contraction I felt a little urge to push, and then I asked Alisa if I could push next time. She said I could if my body told me to, and sure enough, in the next contraction I got a strong urge to push, groaned, and the water broke – followed by the baby’s head and body coming out all in one big push! Nelson and Keyla had switched places a few minutes prior to this, because Nelson wanted to catch the baby again. The time of birth was 3:08 PM. I saw Nelson peek under the umbilical cord as he brought the baby up out of the water, and I wanted to know right away what he had seen. But the cord was very short, so I reached down underneath the cord and felt with my fingers. What a surprise – it was a girl! I was really expecting a boy this time, because of all of the patterns I thought I had developed with the previous babies. We didn’t have out hearts set on a boy, but it was just what I expected. I looked up and said “It’s a girl!” in surprise to Nelson, and he said “Are you sure?” with a big smile on his face. Then he helped me look and confirm what I had felt.

She was crying loudly right from the moment of birth, and was covered with lots of vernix. They helped me sit up in the pool better so that I could hold her, and then covered me with a towel so that everyone could come in and see her. With our whole family in the room plus Mom, Pat, and Granny, we told them that we had a girl and that her name was Harmony. We hadn’t chosen a middle name yet. Matthew cut the umbilical cord after a few minutes and then we had everyone leave the room again so that I could get out and breastfeed her on the bed. What a perfect little girl – and now we have 3 girls in a row for the first time!

My reflections on this birth: I had used some Hypnobirthing techniques with my last 2 babies and thought they helped me a lot with relaxation during my births. This time I chose to use Hypnobabies, after reading a lot about how much better it was. I went through the home study course starting at about 30 weeks or so. I gained a lot of confidence through the techniques I learned, but my biggest worry was whether or not it would really work when the time of birthing came. I alternated between excitement and apprehension during the last few weeks of pregnancy. So once my labor started, I was unsure of myself but I had committed to following the instructions and continuing to use the techniques all through the labor even if I didn’t feel like it. I was very happy that the first several hours of labor didn’t feel like labor at all, and it was very exciting when Nelson checked me at 7:30 AM and found out how much progress I had already made. Alisa and the others commented on my demeanor as well, saying that this was the most peaceful birth they had seen me have.

So did I feel pain? Well, I can honestly say that I really didn’t feel any true pain until right at the end, maybe the last 10 minutes before the birth. The pain I did feel was mostly in my lower back right at the end when Harmony was moving down. And even then, a lot of my feelings were in my mind as I was feeling a need to escape and didn’t keep control of my relaxation as well as I could have. I did not feel any pain as she was coming out. For the rest of the labor, I think that my Hypnobabies training helped me to reframe the sensations I was feeling. With each contraction I remember asking myself, “Is this pain?” And each time, I was able to honestly answer “No, it’s just pressure, it’s not pain.” And because of Hypnobabies, I really felt it that way! It was a very peaceful birth, even though it was my longest one yet, and it was also the first one that I didn’t scream right at the end when the baby was crowning. I am very happy with my Hypnobabies experience and will recommend it to others!

Keep this list in a convenient place to use as a reference during the postpartum period. Contact your caregiver if you notice any of the following:

• Fever – could be a uterine infection, bladder or kidney infection, mastitis, or other illness

• Burning with urination or blood in urine  – could be a bladder infection

• Inability to urinate – there could have been swelling or trauma to your urethral sphincter

• Swollen red, painful area on leg that is painful to the touch – could be a blood clot in your vessel, do not massage!

• Sore, reddened, hot, painful area on your breast with flu like symptoms – could be mastitis (breast infection)

• Large blood clots, or return of heavy red flow of lochia after it has changed to brownish pink, or yellow – could be a retained fragment of the placenta, uterine infection, or simply overexertion

• Foul odor to lochia, vaginal soreness or itching – could be a uterine or vaginal infection

• Increase in pain in Episiotomy or tear repair site, may be accompanied by foul odor – could be a problem with the stitches, or an infection of your episiotomy

• Slight opening of cesarean incision, possibly with bleeding – could be an infection of your incision

• Mom feeling depressed, uncontrollable crying, inability to sleep or eat, extreme anxiety or agitation – could be postpartum depression

Expectant parents sometimes wonder why they should bother taking childbirth classes and parenting classes when there are so many excellent books, websites, and videos out there with an abundance of information about childbirth and early parenting. Here are some benefits:

Getting the Big Picture: In the Information Age, there are so many sources of information, it’s possible to find out any little detail you want to know with a web search.  But within the sea of information, it’s hard to know what information you most need to know. A childbirth education class helps to filter the information, and helps you understand the essentials.

Remembering the Information: A common tenet in education is that students only remember only 10% of what they read. So, even after reading extensively about birth, you may still have retained limited knowledge. And you may not be able to remember this theoretical knowledge during a labor contraction at 2:00 in the morning! On the other hand, students remember 20% of what they hear, 30% of what they see, 50% of what they do, 90% of what they say and do. Since most childbirth educators use a mixture of lecture, visual images (posters, videos, etc.), demonstrations, discussions, and practice sessions, all these learning modes will greatly increase your understanding and how much you remember of what you have learned.

Hands-On Practice: During childbirth classes, the instructor will demonstrate comfort techniques such as back massage and relaxation, and you’ll get a chance to practice them, to ask questions, and to get feedback on how you’re doing. During newborn care classes, there may be dolls for practicing swaddling, diapering, bathing, holding an infant, and positions for breastfeeding. This hands-on learning is important for everyone, but especially the kinesthetic learners who learn best by doing.

Educational materials: Instructors may be able to offer a wide variety of visual aids, videos, comfort tools, and other materials you otherwise wouldn’t have access to. Watching videos of labor and birth can be an excellent tool for preparing for the experience of labor. (Class videos are generally more accurate, realistic, and less sensationalized than birth shows on cable TV!)

Specific and relevant information: Books and websites may offer outdated information, or information about regional practices which may or may not apply where you will give birth. A local class can cover the most current policies and practices specific to your locale.

Social interaction / Peer Support: Childbirth and parenting classes are a great place to meet other expectant parents, and share experiences.

Learning from your instructor’s experience: In a class, you will benefit from the instructor’s wisdom gained through experience. Childbirth educators come from a variety of backgrounds. Many are labor and delivery nurses, labor support doulas, and/or are mothers themselves. From their experiences with birth, they can offer examples of what labor may feel like, share the lessons they have learned, and offer you personalized answers for any questions or concerns that you may have.

Designated time: In our busy lives, with so many responsibilities and distractions that pull our attention, it can be difficult to set aside time to think about the upcoming birth, and to plan for life with baby. Signing up for classes means that you have committed a time on your calendar to focus on this preparation.

Reduced anxiety: Most class participants find that attending a childbirth preparation class helps to reduce their fears and concerns as they learn more about what to expect, and thus have less fear of the unknown.

Written by Janelle Durham, www.transitiontoparenthood.com