Need a Doula in San Antonio?

Lara with Baby #2 immediately after birth

After two frustrating and traumatic experiences with giving birth in hospital settings, I knew that there had to be a better way to give birth.  While pregnant with my first baby, Isabella, I sought traditional medical help—an OB in a large practice.  I read everything I could get my hands on about birth, and my research told me that having a natural childbirth was best for both mother and baby.  I bought a birth ball, did a hypno-therapy program for birth preparation, and wrote a birth plan.  However, when I got to the hospital, once labor became challenging, I was offered an epidural which I agreed to.  There were no other comfort measures offered to me, and since I had no experience with labor and birth, I thought that the pain I was feeling was a failure on my part to not relax properly—something that my hypno-therapy course led me to believe would eliminate the pain.  I felt unprepared and scared that the pain would become unmanageable.

The decision to have the epidural caused me to not feel anything at all when I was told to push, and it also made my daughter drowsy.  Since I was confined to the bed on my back, I felt completely powerless and when the staff took my baby to the “well baby” nursery for “observation”–I was helpless to do anything about it.  I was told my blood pressure spiked dangerously after the birth, so I was unable to leave the delivery room for 8 hours.  I did not even get to hold my baby before they took her!  Needless to say, this was a complete nightmare.  I did not get that precious hour after birth to bond with my baby, and this negatively effected breastfeeding.  I was completely stressed out and upset—not anything like I pictured giving birth to my baby would be.

When I became pregnant with my second baby, Andrew, I knew that I did not want a repeat experience.  I had read a lot of natural birth stories that included a doula, and since I could not afford to have a birth at a birth center with midwives (our insurance did not cover any of the over $3000 cost), I felt that having a doula in the hospital would be my best chance to have a natural birth.  That’s when I met Brenda!  I felt instantly comfortable with her, and she really got to know me and my desires for a natural birth.  We went over my birth plan that I wanted—to see the placenta before it was taken away, and to hold my baby immediately after birth, my desire for a natural birth and no separation of baby.  I encountered a combative doctor, and without Brenda there advocating for me, it would have been a totally negative experience.

With my third pregnancy, I started researching how to have a birth without bending to the hospital staff’s rules for their own convenience—and I found that it is very difficult to have a hospital birth the way I wanted it—freedom to move around in labor, choosing the birth post ion—and in San Antonio there is no way to have a water birth—something that I intuitively felt I wanted.  I read everything I could get my hands on about Unassisted Childbirth (UC), and I made the decision to have this baby at home with my husband.  It turned out to be the best experience!  I bought an inflatable kiddie pool so I could have a water birth—something I’d always wanted.  I had all my supplies set up, and spoke to Brenda often about the birth. My husband was with my 2 other young children at his parents’ home when I stared having cramping and mild contractions—very mild and nothing like the labor contractions I’d felt with my other two babies.  I was feeling uncomfortable and irritable, so I got into the bathtub.  I started having more of what I thought were Braxton-Hicks contractions, and then things started moving.  I knew that I was going to give birth in the tub!  Since I had watched so many births on DVD and on YouTube, I had a good idea what was happening as it happened.  I gave birth to my beautiful daughter, Liliana, in our bathtub.  She latched onto my breast right away, and I delivered the placenta soon afterwards.  I was too shaky to get out of the tub, so I kept draining and refilling the tub with warm water.  Needless to say my husband was shocked to come home to mother AND baby!

Liliana is such a calm, happy baby—she got to bond with her mommy immediately after birth—not with an OB nurse.  My recovery was phenomenal—such a big difference from my 2 hospital birth experiences.

Lara with her 3 beautiful children

Rachel’s birth was the best experience I have had. My family, doula/friend, and doctor, made it all easy for me.

I was having a VBA2C…..my other doctor would not allow me to continue services with them….because I wanted to try to Labor….. I had been at the  Above Rubies Retreat April 23rd… had gotten home and started feeling twinges at about 10:30 pm but I went to bed. I woke up at 3:30 am on April 24th with severe pains and I started timing them but they were not steady. So I waited for a few hours then around 6:30 am the pains were back and steady at 5 min apart. We called Brenda to let her know and Josh called in to work, and I labored. I walked and squatted, got in the tub,got in the bed, and got on the ball. Brenda was great, she fixed me Emergen-C and a peanut butter shake—I turned my nose up at that.  She was so encouraging to me. The pains were still five minutes apart, so around 12 am on April 25th,  I decided to go into the hospital. Yes, I went - DH was not comfy with a homebirth and with the doctor change we didn’t have much time to find a midwife.

Of course the Nurses did the protocol and hooked me up, but I got out of bed every chance I had. I just should have put my foot down and said no, but anyway anything the nurse wanted to do was held off cuz I was gathering my peeps up to help inform us of what they were doing and give us time to think. Soooo, I had no pains meds! Doc Van’s associate came in and checked me, I really wanted Dr Van to be there, and finally she came.  I pushed for 40 mintues and during that time I was kinda not trying hard enough and Dr. Van said to me, hey you are almost there –  just push some more and she is out. I remember Brenda saying hey look at the mirror you can see her hair - and that was it.  I pushed and out came Rachel. It was soooo awesome.

*Brenda’s comments: Brandy is a good friend of mine, and this was my first birth as a doula! It has also been my longest birth to date, her labor was 30 hours and I was with her nearly the whole time. I loved being able to support Brandy, and was so proud of her for having the courage to stand up for what she wanted in the face of much opposition. She also did a fantastic job staying positive during her long labor. Brandy has made herself available to answer questions for other moms who are considering a VBAC – please contact me and I will be glad to put you in touch with her.

I guess it all starts with Henry arriving at 39 weeks. Even though I KNEW that I could go past 40 weeks (Keith was born at 42 weeks), I didn’t really believe it. Boy, was I wrong. So 39 weeks came and went. So did 40 weeks. And 41. AND 42. It was a long month, to say the least. A couple of days after my car accident I saw the midwife to check in. I was 6-7cm dilated, so we tried some homeopathics to get labor going. No go. They gave me some contractions, but those contractions didn’t end up in a baby. So the weekend came… and went… Monday night I had contractions all night, but the didn’t get any stronger or closer together. Tuesday around 10am I called the midwife, and we decided she’d come down and we’d evict this baby. If you know me you know that I’m not a fan of inductions, but sometimes the risks of staying pregnant outweigh the risks of the induction. I was pretty much at that point. Postdates, baby wasn’t moving as much as I’d like, the car accident… time to have a baby. I’d probably still be pregnant if we just waited for Miss Caroline to get her act together. So I called Ed (who was working at the Jersey shore – way to stay in the area in case your wife has a baby Ed!) and my doula and told them that the midwife would be over in an hour or two and we’d be having a baby. I called my mom to get Henry, and the midwife showed up around noon. She broke my water and gave me a dose of cohosh tincture, then my mom came to get the kids. We convinced Keith to go with her to lunch and then come back, because babies take a little while to show up. He’d be fine – get some lunch, come back and see a baby be born! So the boys left around 12:30 or so, and the midwife gave me another dose of cohoshes. Two contractions later, I changed my mind about the whole having a baby thing. I called Ed and told him to hurry up and come home, and called my doula. Contractions were 2 minutes apart, lasting about a minute. The second midwife showed up around 1 and got me into the shower so I’d cope better. At 1:30 I started pushing. I only pushed a couple of times with Henry, and for 20 minutes with Keith, so after a few pushes I was done. Unfortunately baby had different ideas! I ended up pushing for about an hour. Ed and the doula showed up a little bit after I started pushing, and were HUGE helps! I hate pushing with a passion. Finally, she was born at 2:28pm – two and a half hours after the midwife showed up at my house, and less than two hours after I felt the first contraction. She was a bit slow to adjust to outside life (is THAT a surprise? Why do I think my Caroline is going to be consistently late in life?!?), but after a bit of oxygen she was fine. My doula told me it was a girl, and I didn’t believe it until I saw her. I still don’t really believe it! Ed called Keith to apologize for him missing the birth, but it was all made better when he was told that he had a baby sister. He dropped the phone and Ed heard him say “I finally got what I wanted!” Mom and dad brought the boys right over to meet their sister, and they’ve been over the moon with her since.

Click here to visit this family’s blog.

On Thursday, May 15th I woke up and within an hour started having a bloody show and could tell that the contractions were different than before. I was so excited that things were finally starting to happen! I decided to go ahead with my plans for the day, and asked Mom to accompany me in taking the children to the library and grocery store. We got back home around 1:30 PM. I had been having sporadic contractions that felt different than usual, but nothing regular. The bloody show came and went all day long. I tried to take a nap that afternoon but couldn’t sleep, every time I dozed off a contraction would wake me up. Nelson came home at the normal time and we had a typical evening at home with the children. I walked for about 1 mile with Mom at about 7:30-8:00 PM, then came home and got the children in bed. I took a shower, then organized a few things around the bedroom in advance preparation for the birth. I was still having contractions and knew it would happen sometime soon, but I had never had a labor that was “slow to start” like this one before.

At 11:00, right after my shower, I asked Nelson to check my cervix. He was actually the only one who did this for me during my entire pregnancy and birth! We had measured his finger, and he had already enjoyed being able to feel the baby’s head a few days beforehand. This time he said he could definitely feel a change from the night before (which was the last time he had checked), and his best guess was that I was 4 cm dilated and at least 75% effaced. I called my midwife to give her the report, and she said that she was going to try and get some sleep but to call her back when anything changed.

Somewhere around 11:30 or so I started feeling tense and could tell that I was also getting anxious about what was coming. I had been working hard on not allowing my fears to overwhelm me, and knew that I needed to relax and try to sleep – not knowing when labor would really get started or how much sleep I would get that night. So right before midnight I laid down and turned on my Hypnobirthing CD, it was 22 minutes long. I did not watch the clock during that time, but I counted 5 contractions – with another one immediately following. They weren’t too strong yet, but the relaxation helped a lot and I had to stop and breathe through the contraction that happened after I got up and went downstairs. Looking back, I am convinced that the relaxation I did at that time was very instrumental in helping my body go into active labor when it did.

Nelson was working on the computer when I told him that the contractions had started getting closer together. I decided to write them down for awhile, and between contractions I unloaded the dishwasher and did some other cleaning. I wrote down contractions for about 30 minutes starting at about 12:20, and they were quickly progressing from 3-4 minutes apart down to 2-3 minutes apart.  Nelson was very calm about it and said that he thought it would be fine to call our midwife now, since my labor seemed to have established itself. I didn’t want to call her too soon, but remembering how fast Philip’s labor was helped me to decide to go ahead and have her let the other midwife know and start on their way. So I called her at 12:45 AM on May 16th and asked her to go ahead and come.

I was feeling ready to go upstairs and lie down at that point, but Nelson made the comment that he was looking forward to eating my “labor project” cookies, so I decided to at least get the cookies started so that he could have his wish. I had previously come up with several ideas to keep me busy and distracted during my labor, and all week long I had been looking forward to making my favorite oatmeal cookies when the big day came. At that particular moment I could have cared less about eating cookies, but they did keep me busy and active for awhile longer. I got them all mixed up in the mixer, and Mom was just arriving as I was putting the first batch into the oven. I was so glad to see her so that I could give her the rest of the job – my back was really starting to hurt during the contractions and I wanted nothing more than to go upstairs and lie down! Nelson tried to encourage me to stay up awhile longer, but I had already had enough and didn’t listen to him any more.

I laid back down in my favorite side-lying position on my bed at about 1:20 AM and turned on my hypnobirthing CD again. It was less than 5 minutes or so when my midwife arrived and came upstairs to greet me. I was much more comfortable lying down, and although the contractions were getting very intense – I was able to relax by listening to the CD instructions and lots of deep breathing. I could hear things going on around me – people arriving, people talking, the birth pool being filled, the front door opening and closing, and in the background – the sound of rain from outside of our open bedroom window. My midwife listened to the baby’s heart rate shortly after she arrived, and said it was “perfect.” This gave me a lot of peace and helped me to remember why I was in labor – I would be meeting me new baby very soon!

After the hypnobirthing CD was over, I asked my midwife to start the tape of Nelson reading scriptures to me with music in the background. She did that, but I didn’t really listen to it because I started listening to her voice instead. She said that she wouldn’t have thought that I needed to be talked through the contractions, but because I was able to tell her that I liked it, she kept doing it. She was also running her hand lightly up and down my back with each breath, and I was doing really well focusing on the sound of her voice and the feel of her hand. The “balloon breathing” technique that I had practiced with hypnobirthing didn’t take away any of the pain, but it did help with keeping me relaxed and focused on the opening of my cervix. At one point I asked her to put some frankincense on my lower belly and back, and another time they used a warm washcloth with an essential oil mixture on it of jasmine, geranium, and lavender.

Nelson also took a more active role in supporting me during this birth, because I had previously asked him to do so. He talked to me a lot more, reassuring me and reminding me that we would be meeting our baby soon. Nelson and my midwife together were a huge support for me in being able to stay calm, relaxed, and in overcoming my fears. One thing I kept saying to myself over and over again the whole time was “perfect peace.” God had given me the scripture just that day from Isaiah which says “He will keep thee in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee.” I just continued praying for that perfect peace to be in my heart and in my body, so that my body could do the job it needed to do and bring my baby to me.

I’m not sure what time it was – maybe about 2:15 AM, that Nelson told me that the pool was ready for me to get into anytime I wanted. The contractions were getting harder to handle, and I was going through an inner struggle to remain relaxed. I felt very comfortable on the bed (all things considered) at that point, and didn’t want to ruin my relaxation by getting up. But I kept thinking about the fact that the bed hadn’t been prepared for the birth yet (no plastic under the sheets) and my midwife also reminded me that I should empty my bladder once more before the birth. So I forced myself to get up and into the bathroom. At this point I realized that the other midwife was in the room, sitting in my rocking chair, and I felt very relieved and glad that everyone was there who I needed to be there at that moment. Just as I thought, the contractions immediately intensified and I had a very hard time dealing with the next one that came while I was sitting on the toilet. Nelson came and talked me through it. While I was there, my midwife brought me several drops of myrrh oil to rub on my perineum. We had read that this would help with the pain of crowning, and looking back – I hardly felt anything at all during the moment the baby was coming out – so I guess it worked!

I had about 2-3 contractions on the toilet, and then decided I needed to get into the pool. I had another contraction on the way to the pool and then felt so relieved to be able to lie back and relax again in the water. I knew things were progressing pretty fast so I asked my midwife to go and wake up the girls, they wanted to be there during my labor so that they could be my doulas. They both came and stood on either side of me, rubbing my hands. At this point I was working hard keeping my goal in mind, visualizing myself lying back down on the bed in a while with my new baby in my arms and suckling her at my breast.

I don’t remember exactly how long I was in the pool before the birth, my best guess is only about 15 minutes or so. I did not want anyone to yell at me this time to get me to stop pushing, I just wanted to let it happen. I think I had resigned myself to the fact that my babies just like to come out fast, and there isn’t anything I can do about it. I felt the baby moving down with each contraction, and my lower back started hurting terribly. I actually felt a little bit of warning before the pushing urge came, and I consciously decided to say it aloud “I want to push the baby out now” so as to let them know that the baby would be coming soon. I heard my midwife open up her gloves, and then everything was quiet again between my contractions. I felt the baby moving down again, and with the next contraction I pushed hard. I felt a pop (which was the water breaking – we had all forgotten that it hadn’t happened yet) followed by two big lumps of something – the baby’s head and body. It happened so fast that I didn’t have time to feel any pain associated with the actual birth, only the contractions were still hurting. I heard someone say my name to calm me down, but it was already too late – the baby was in the water and it was over. Nelson caught her (with the midwife’s assistance) and he brought her up to me and we both held her with our hands. I almost immediately looked between her legs and said “it’s a girl!” I had to look again a couple of minutes later just to make sure I had seen it right.

Summer’s birth was peaceful and I was able to let go of my fears, just like I had been praying for. She weighed 7 lbs. exactly and is a beautiful blessing to our family!

*Note – This has been my most difficult birth, emotionally that is. I had experienced 2 miscarriages between my 4th and 5th babies, and I strongly believe they greatly contributed to my emotional state and the fact that I was much more fearful and not well prepared.

On the evening of Monday, June 19th I went to my monthly ladies’ Bible study at the church, even though I had not really been planning to go this month.  I felt really good after taking a nap on Monday afternoon, and decided to go ahead and have one last night out, because I knew I would be at home for awhile after the baby’s birth. After I got home that night Nelson and I spent some time together (ahem!) and right afterwards I had a bloody show when I went to the bathroom, at about 11:30 PM. I wasn’t really feeling anything else at the time, but I knew that the blood was a good sign that something might be happening.  I went downstairs and Nelson and I talked for awhile, and finally I told him about the bloody show and he got the biggest smile on his face!  I told him I didn’t know if this was the real thing or not, but that I wouldn’t be surprised. We sat and talked for awhile longer and I could tell that I was definitely having some contractions, but nothing more intense than any other night previous to this one so far.  I didn’t think I would be able to sleep though, so I asked him to stay up with me for a little while.  It didn’t take too long until I started feeling more intense contractions, and after wondering what to do, we decided to go ahead and start preparing our bedroom for the birth just in case.  We really didn’t want to repeat what had happened with Philip’s birth where I didn’t even have time to get in the water before he was born.  So we felt like we needed to get things ready plenty early.  Nelson brought up the pool and started filling it, then he cleaned the bathroom and made the bed.  I kept him busy doing some other things as well.  I was really wondering when we should call our midwife, so Nelson suggested that we time some of the contractions to be able to tell her something.  He also checked my cervix at that point and said he could definitely tell things had changed, and thought I was between 2-3 cm dilated. We timed the contractions for about 45 minutes or so and they were consistently 3 minutes apart but only about 45 seconds long.  Still, we decided to go ahead and call our midwife to let her know that I was in early labor.  She said she would take a shower and go ahead and come, and that she would also let the other midwife know.  I think we called her around 1 AM or so. I also called my mom and mother-in-law, who both said they would be on their way. 

I stayed downstairs for a short time after this, reading the Bible and walking around.  I eventually went back upstairs though, I was still in early labor and just needed the distraction of having Nelson there to talk to.  Mom came over in a few minutes, and she also stayed upstairs and talked to me for awhile because I told her that it was distracting to have the conversation.  Once I went back upstairs I really started losing track of time, I only remember looking at the clock a few times, and once I realized that it was 3:30 AM, the same time that Philip was born, and I remember really wishing that this birth could be over too.  My midwife came, and sat and talked to us for awhile, I remember being able to laugh with her quite a bit at first and I shared some of the details of my other births with her.  We also laughed when Nelson shook my rear end during a contraction (something I had read about in my doula books) and I had to tell him to stop because it was making me laugh and lose my concentration. 

I had decided to take Vitamin C during this labor because it had really seemed to help during Philip’s birth, although I had only taken it two times.  This time I took 4000 mg every hour for 5 hours, and eventually I had to stop taking it because it was giving me really bad diarrhea and making my bottom hurt terribly.  At first I wasn’t sure the diarrhea was being caused by the Vitamin C, because I had already been having it prior to labor starting.  But eventually I had to admit that the Vitamin C wasn’t helping this time, and actually made the labor quite a bit harder to handle because of having to spend so much time on the toilet.  It was also very hard to deal with the contractions while my bottom was hurting so much at the same time.  I even had to put off getting into the pool for awhile because of it, although I finally decided I just had to get in anyway, and then had to get out 2 more times during the labor to run to the toilet.  Thankfully I made it in time and the water didn’t get dirty.

I remember trying quite a few different positions during my labor this time, partly because the labor itself lasted longer than I was used to, and partly because the contractions were much more intense and painful starting at probably around 3 AM or so. I sat on our exercise ball quite a bit at first, then knelt beside and leaned over the bed, then laid on the bed with the body pillow for awhile, then stood up and leaned against Nelson for awhile (trying to get the baby to move down), plus of course spending plenty of time on the toilet.  I also really appreciated the back massager/vibrator which Nelson and my midwife used on my lower back during every contraction until I got into the pool. Once I got in the pool (maybe around 6 AM?) I reclined most of the time, although at one point I leaned over the side on my hands and knees, because I was thinking that this was the position I wanted to actually give birth in.  It would have worked fine, except that the baby still wasn’t moving down, so they asked me to change positions again close to the end and I ended up semi-sitting against the side of the pool for the birth.

My midwife checked my cervix a few times during labor – the first time I was 4 cm dilated, the 2nd time I was 5 cm dilated and 75% effaced, and the 3rd time I was still 5 cm dilated but 90% effaced.  This slow progress was really discouraging to me, because I felt like the contractions were much more intense than that and that I should have been progressing faster.  I decided after the 3rd check that I didn’t want her to check me anymore because it was painful and because I didn’t want to continue to be discouraged. 

This labor was the hardest one of my 5 births to deal with except maybe for my first one where I spend most of it on my back in a hospital bed. The last 3-4 hours of the labor were very intense and I really felt like I was in transition that whole time. It helped to listen to my scripture tape that Nelson made for me, and also to a CD made for me by the children for Mother’s Day with them singing and reading to me.  But I really struggled with keeping in control of the pain for quite a long time, and I remember wishing over and over again that it would just be over, or that I could just have a break.  I knew that if they broke my water it would probably help the labor go faster, but I was already right at the edge of what I thought I could tolerate, and all I could think of was that I didn’t want it to hurt more. I had been more fearful of this pregnancy and birth all along, and had been trying to deal with that by praying and quoting scriptures, etc. but I really think that my fears played a part in the more difficult labor and birth.

I think it was around 6:30 or so that they decided to wake up the children, because they thought it was getting close and I didn’t want them to miss it.  Courtney came in to see me, and someone told her to start rubbing my arm.  Courtney was so calm and sweet that she ended up staying with me the rest of the time, and although I was having a hard time, I really appreciated her being there.  The contractions had been coming right on top of each other for awhile now, and at some point my midwife said that she needed to check to see how much cervix I had left, because I could feel the baby moving down.  She said that there was an anterior lip of cervix that was keeping the baby from coming, and that I would have to have a few more contractions.  I remember saying (thinking?) “No, no more” at that point, and I really didn’t think I could do it. I had been moaning through the contractions for quite awhile now, and I also remember the midwife talking me through them and how much her soothing voice helped.  After awhile longer she said that she needed to try and push back the lip of cervix so that the baby could come down.  When she said that I could only think of how it would hurt for her to touch me, and I begged her please not to do it.  But she did it anyway, and it really did hurt!  I felt the baby come down immediately, and then the urge to push came on me suddenly and strong.  The midwives and Nelson all three started shouting at me not to push, and to stop screaming (I had asked them previously to do this to help me stay in control) but I had had enough, and I just didn’t care anymore, I wanted this baby out!  I pushed and screamed, and then Nelson put my hand down there and I felt his head!  They were still telling me to slow down and not push, but I just wanted him out of me, and I pushed again as hard as I could to get it over with.  He came out with one more push and they brought him up to the surface and covered him with a towel right away (the water had gotten a little cooler than they wanted). Nelson and the midwife held the baby up to me and told me to look at him, and when I did he was looking right back at me with blinking eyes.  He didn’t cry right away, but just looked at me.  He was covered with thick vernix, even in his nostrils! After a minute or two someone asked me if it was a boy or a girl (I had requested that no one tell me but instead let me find out for myself) and I moved back the towel and saw that I had another son. We stayed in the water for awhile just looking at him, and at some point he decided to scream for a few seconds, just to prove he could do it.    I felt another contraction, and my midwife told me that I could deliver the placenta myself if I wanted to.  So with the next contraction I reached down and pulled gently on the cord, and pushed at the same time.  The placenta came out immediately and it was really small and easy compared to previous times.  They told me that not very many moms want to deliver their own placenta!  We stayed in the water for about 25 minutes, then I was ready to get out and wanted to shower off right away.  Matthew helped cut the cord, and then my midwife took Zachary while I did that and rubbed him down with towels.  He was born at 7:10 AM.

Zachary nursed perfectly the very first time I tried, and he was perfectly healthy.  I hardly bled at all, and recovered from the birth very quickly as well. I did not tear at all, and had only 3 tiny skid marks which healed within a couple of days. I did have some very strong after pains, but they only lasted about 2 days. The midwives  stayed for about 2 ½ hours after Zachary was born, checking both of us to make sure we were doing well.  Both midwives agreed that he was born early, they estimated by about 10 days or so, which was the same as my last baby! He was 8 lbs exactly, and 21 inches long.

My official due date was January 6, 2004, but I had been feeling for awhile that he might come early.  I started losing some mucous plug at about 34 ½ weeks, and was also dilated to 1 cm at that time. Nelson kept telling me that it was just wishful thinking on my part, but I guess he turned out to be wrong!  We were also hoping for a 2004 baby, because then Nelson would get a full 2 weeks paid vacation from work, which he did not get because Philip was born in 2003.  So we were counting down the days until New Year’s.

On the evening of December 26th, we were having Bible time in the living room and I was holding Brianna in my lap while we were singing hymns.  I felt a contraction that went all the way around to my back and immediately said something to Nelson about it.  This was at about 8:00 PM.  I did not take it seriously, but I knew that feeling it in my back could mean that something was happening. We put the children to bed, and then spent some time alone together for a few minutes.  I kept having sporadic contractions, and I told Nelson that I didn’t think I would be able to sleep through them if they didn’t slow down.  I remember telling Nelson that I was feeling really guilty about possibly being in labor before January 1st, and he told me to go ahead and have the baby whenever I wanted to, he wouldn’t be upset about it.

I was really more annoyed by them than anything else, because I wanted to get to sleep. They weren’t painful at all yet, just distracting.  I lay in bed and watched TV from about 9:30-11:00, trying to relax.  After that Nelson came to bed and I decided to get up and take a shower, which I did. The contractions were getting a little MORE distracting, and I was beginning to wonder if this might be the night. I got out of the shower just before midnight, and then laid back down in bed for an hour while Nelson slept. I could not sleep or relax, so I decided to get up and go downstairs. I started timing the contractions and writing them down, and found that they were regular and coming about every 2 minutes, starting at 1 AM. 

I decided to call my midwife at about 1:15, and she said she and her assistant would be on their way shortly.  I called Mom at her house and my mother-in-law at her house at about 1:30, apologizing to all of them for calling so soon and waking them up.  I really thought that I was calling everyone way too early, and that it would be sometime the next day before he would be born.  By this time I knew that I was in labor, and at 1:06 AM I took my first dose of 4000 mg of Vitamin C, and set the timer for 1 hour.  I went back upstairs, woke up Nelson, and told him that this was it and he needed to get up and shower.  He did that, and then started getting things ready, including cleaning the sink and toilet, making the bed, moving furniture around, blowing up the swimming pool, etc.  He worked until about 2:30 when I finally asked him to stop.

I paced the floor downstairs for awhile, reading Psalms and singing to myself during contractions.  I started feeling some back pain, which I relieved by putting pressure on my back. At 2:06 I took 4000 more mg of Vit C, and at the same moment my mom walked in the door. I walked around downstairs for a few more minutes, and then decided to go upstairs and see how Nelson was doing.  I was beginning to feel the need for his support, and I wanted him to use the vibrating massager on my back.

I put on my swimsuit which had the crotch cut out of it, and my robe on over that.  It was hot upstairs, but I still had my sense of modesty at that time.  I tried several different positions during contractions, including kneeling down beside the bed, and then finally started leaning against the wall while Nelson used the vibrating massager on my back. My midwives came in during one of those contractions, and afterwards I remember thinking that I was probably about 3-4 cm dilated at that point, and we had a long ways to go.  The contractions were very manageable, with lots of time between them and I could easily carry on a conversation between times. 

They checked the heart rate of the baby and discovered his heart was going down to 80 bpm during contractions.  I could hear that it was way too slow even during the contractions, and that scared me.  They checked it again a couple more times, and then my midwife said that she was somewhat concerned and needed to check me. I laid down on the bed on my side with my body pillow between my legs.  She checked me and said that I was already 7 cm dilated!  I couldn’t believe it!  This was at about 3:00 AM. She also said that my water was bulging and would break any minute.  I requested that they go ahead and wake up the children at this point, so they would be wide awake when the time came.  The heart rate was still going down too low, so she tried to break my water, but was not successful. But by this time I had gotten into a better position, semi-reclining on the bed leaning up against Nelson, and during the next contraction the heart rate was fine! My midwife told me that the baby really liked this position, and asked if I could stay there for a little while. I thought this was a great idea, I didn’t want to hear that heart rate going down any more!

In the meantime, the swimming pool was being filled.  We had not started filling it until the midwives arrived, because Nelson didn’t know it would take so long, and I wanted to stay out of the water as long as possible. So by the time we started it was pretty much too late.  I was 9 cm dilated a few minutes after the first check, and so when they finally told me that I could get in the pool, I didn’t want to anymore, I just wanted to stay on the bed where I was.  One of my reasons was not wanting to chance the baby’s heart rate going down again, although I don’t know if that was a reasonable thought or not at the time.

My mother-in-law arrived at about 3:15 or 3:20, and I remember asking if my sister-in-law had come along with her.  She hadn’t.  They and the children were right outside the bedroom door waiting for us to call them in to witness the birth, they were talking to them and praying for me at the same time. I started vocalizing through the contractions, they had gotten really intense at about this point. My midwife was talking me through them by reminding me that it was almost over, I would get to see my baby soon, and I was saying over and over again – “I don’t want to.” Nelson will never let me forget those words!  I was really fearing the urge to push, and didn’t want to have to go through that again.  Finally the urge came, and I screamed at the top of my lungs as I pushed little Philip out into the world in one contraction.  The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck tightly two times, they told me later, and that was what was causing his heart rate to go down.  After he came out they unwound him immediately and put him up on my belly, I watched him take his first breath and start crying.  My children did not get to see him being born this time, but they heard everything, including his first cry, and came into the room at this point.  My only thought besides how beautiful he was, was that I still have to push out the placenta!  While we were waiting, my father-in-law came upstairs and peeked into the room, and we shooed him out the door and said we weren’t ready yet.  Poor Papa. My mother-in-law commented on how loud he cried, and asked if our other children had done that at birth. 

Philip was born at 3:31 AM (approximately) and weighed 6 lbs. 13 oz. and was 20 ½ inches long.  He was much smaller than we all thought he would be, which made for an easier birth, and I didn’t even tear for the first time!  This was my easiest labor yet, and I attribute it to having a smaller baby along with the Vitamin C that I took only twice. 

After he was born, we bonded with him for awhile, and then they got the two of us into the swimming pool for an herbal bath. That was really nice.  The midwives left at about 6:00 AM, and my in-laws decided to stay and sleep in the guest room for awhile.  We put the children back to bed and tried to rest.  At about 7:30 we were in our room trying to sleep when the doorbell rang.  It was my sister-in-law, expecting to get there and see me still in labor!  She was very surprised and said that she had not been able to sleep all night after we had called.  Instead she worked on finishing up the baby blanket that she made for Philip, her very first one ever!  It was wonderful to see her, and I am so glad she decided to come over, even though everything was done at that point.

Philip was born on a Sabbath morning at home, right onto our very own bed!  What a wonderful experience to have a 2nd home birth.  We were very happy with our midwives, and very happy with the whole experience!  I would have enjoyed giving birth in the water again, but given the circumstances, it may have been better this way anyhow.  We are so blessed to have been given another son!

My due date was November 26th, 2001, and we knew that this baby was a girl. We were so excited to have a baby sister for Courtney!

On Nov. 25th I woke up feeling quite a few contractions, and hoped that this was the day!  I called our midwife, and then decided to mow our front lawn to help things along.  After that I took a nap, and when I woke up the contractions had stopped.  This was about the 3rd time this had happened – and I was starting to feel discouraged with the false alarms.  I decided to try my hardest to forget about the whole thing, and not even think about any contractions that I might have. 

On Monday, Nov. 26th Nelson stayed home from work because his back was out – he could hardly walk!  He told me I’d better not have the baby that day because he wouldn’t be able to be a good coach!  In the morning on Monday my mom took the kids and I to town – mostly to give us something to do since I had no plans for the entire week.  We got home and I took a nap – but woke up early because I was very hot.  It was probably about 3:00 in the afternoon, and I came out and laid down on the couch for awhile, trying to cool off.  I noticed that I was having some pretty hard contractions, but I was still trying to ignore them so I didn’t keep track of the time at all for awhile. 

It was about 4:30 PM when I went to the bathroom and lost quite a bit of mucous plug, along with the tiniest amount of blood.  I decided that it was time to start timing some of my contractions, just in case.  I also had Nelson check me, and he said he thought I was dilated between 2-3 cm. I called our midwife, and she told me to time contractions for 1 hour, and then call her back. Mom and I decided to take a short walk, and both of the kids wanted to go with us.  We walked only over to Mom’s house and back, she wanted to get her cordless phone. By this time, I was fairly certain that the baby would be born that night – the contractions were between 7-8 minutes apart, but they were getting stronger and starting to hurt more during contractions. Nelson checked me again and thought I was dilated to about 4 cm already! I called our midwife back, and she said she would get ready to come, but she didn’t think it was time for her to come yet.

I continued walking through the house – also calling quite a few more people to let them know and to ask them to pray for us.  In the meantime, Nelson was busy preparing our bathroom and bedroom for the birth.  I guess it was about 7:00 or so when I decided that Nelson should start filling up the tub, because I was getting very uncomfortable during contractions.  I was feeling a little bit anxious about our midwife getting here on time, and Nelson and Mom strongly encouraged me to call and and have her come, so that I would be able to relax better. I started timing contractions again, and they were 2-3 minutes apart, so I called and she said she would be here shortly.

I got in the tub a little bit after 7:30 PM.  The water was very relaxing to me immediately, it was amazing how much better the contractions felt!  My belly wasn’t completely covered by the water because our tub isn’t very deep, so I started having Nelson pour warm water over me during the contractions.  This was very comforting to me, and we continued this throughout labor. 

The midwife and her assistants got here at about 8:00 PM.  They sat down by the tub and talked to me for a few minutes, and then started getting their things ready and set up around the room.  I asked our midwife to check me, and she said I was 5 cm dilated and 100% effaced. We talked between contractions for awhile, and then decided to have Nelson get in the tub with me to see if I would be more comfortable.  I told him not to get mad at me if I changed my mind immediately and wanted him to get out!  But it was very comfortable having him right there behind me – I was much more comfortable and I enjoyed having him be able to touch me and be so close.

Matthew and Courtney came in to see me a couple of times, their eyes were wide and I could tell they were very excited about what was happening.  Courtney wanted to get in the tub and “take a bath” with me! We decided not to put them to bed unless they got very fussy, we wanted them to be able to witness the birth.

The time went by very quickly, and I could tell that the contractions were getting closer together and lasting longer.  I enjoyed listening to a tape with scripture verses that Nelson had made for me a few weeks earlier.  At about 9:30 my midwife checked me again, and I was 8 cm dilated! She said that we would have a baby soon and asked everyone to turn off the fans, a/c, etc. so that there wouldn’t be a draft when the baby was born.  I was very relieved that I thought it would be over very soon.  They kept having me drink lemonade and water, which tasted very good because I was getting hot from sitting in the water for so long.

After a few more minutes with nothing happening, we turned the fans back on again – we were hot and things were progressing more slowly than we thought.  I was still handling the contractions well – they were very manageable, but I was getting discouraged that nothing was happening.  I had my midwife check me again at 10:15, and I was still at 8 cm.  She said that sometimes when the water hasn’t broken yet, the baby gets stuck in a certain spot, and there might be a certain period of time when I don’t seem to be progressing.  She said that we could sit and wait to see what would happen, or she could have me push a little bit against her fingers and see if that helped. I decided to try that – I was ready to get this show on the road!  As soon as I pushed during the next contraction, I felt a big pop and the baby’s head moved down – my water had broken. 

Now we had to wait and see what would happen next.  I started having much more painful contractions right away, these were hard to deal with! I had a lot of feelings of doubt and fear right about then, because the contractions got so much stronger so suddenly.  There weren’t very many of them, however, and I started feeling an urge to push.  My midwife checked, and I was 9 ½ cm dilated, almost there!  At 10:31 the urge to push became very strong, and I started screaming/grunting like I do every time.  My midwife called for the kids to come in, and I could hear one of them crying, I couldn’t tell which one.  Someone put my hand down in the water, and I could feel the baby’s head starting to crown.  My midwife kept saying “Breathe” and “Brenda, listen to my voice – breathe!” She was trying to get me to stop pushing so the baby wouldn’t come out too fast.  I tried to do what she said, but my body wouldn’t listen, and I pushed her head out very quickly. I heard her saying something about the cord being around the baby’s neck, but I only had time for one or two breaths before my body started pushing again, and before I knew it the baby was in the water. The assistant brought her up out of the water, and told me “Hold your baby Brenda.”  At that point I finally opened my eyes (they had been tightly closed during all of this) and saw Brianna resting on my leg.  She was very white with vernix, and I remember the feeling of it on my fingers. I was so out of breath from pushing that I didn’t try to hold her much for a few seconds.  But then I realized that the midwife was saying something – and she sounded urgent.  She said “I need the cord clamp, NOW!”  I didn’t know what was happening, but I knew something was wrong, and I immediately looked down at Brianna to see if she was breathing.  She hadn’t taken her first breath yet, and as I watched her, I got to see her breathe in and then out for the first time.  She started crying immediately, a wonderful sound!  My instincts told me that she was okay, but my midwife was still talking loudly and urgently – I couldn’t understand what was wrong.  Then she said “Brenda, I need you to get out of the tub now.” I didn’t want to move, but I looked down and saw that the water was red with blood, and I knew she was right. For all I knew, that could have been my own blood, and I started feeling weak from the thought of it. I gave the baby to the assistant, and they all helped me get out of the tub and onto the bed.  They examined me, and soon put my fears to rest by saying that I was not bleeding. Then my midwife pushed down on my belly a couple of times and asked me to push, and the placenta came out without any difficulty.

In a couple more minutes, the assistant handed Brianna back to me wrapped in towels.  I tried to nurse her 2 different times, but she wasn’t ready yet.  I hadn’t yet noticed that she was definitely a girl, and I asked everyone to confirm that for me. After awhile, she started nursing.  My midwife told me that I had a small tear, about 1 inch long but not deep.  We discussed it, and then decided not to do stitches.  I also found out by listening to everyone talking that the umbilical cord had torn during the delivery, therefore causing the panic that had happened earlier.  She decided that they were taking the cord from around the baby’s neck, but it wasn’t completely free yet when her body came out with such force that the cord tore completely apart!  They didn’t have the cord clamp ready yet, so she was holding onto both ends of the cord with her hands, and didn’t have any hands free – so that’s why she sounded so urgent in telling the other midwives what to do.  They knew the blood in the water was coming from the cord, but they also needed to examine me and make sure I was okay, so that’s why they made me get out right away.

Once everything settled down, Mom and the kids came back into the room, and they got to hold the baby for the first time.  The expressions on their faces were priceless, they loved their baby sister so much! They held her for a few minutes, and then said goodnight and went to bed almost 4 hours later than normal.

Brenda’s Birth Story – Baby #1

My first baby was born on November 10, 1997. His due date was November 6th. I have birthed five more children since then, in 1999, 2001, 2003, 2006, and 2008. We interviewed a midwife at the beginning of my pregnancy, thinking about the possibility of a home birth. But in the end we decided on a hospital birth with our OB/GYN, and we wrote a birth plan, hoping for a natural birth.

I worked as a Kindergarten teacher throughout my pregnancy. My last day was November 7th, when I finally decided to stop working. That was a Friday, and on Sunday night I had trouble sleeping. I was having mild contractions about every 10 minutes for an hour or so, and then at about 1 AM my water broke. My mom, husband and I drove to the hospital, arriving at about 3 AM. I got into bed to be hooked up to the fetal monitor, and the nurses left us alone for several hours. I stayed in bed the whole time, the contractions were fairly strong and I was tired from not having any sleep. I had very much wanted to have a totally natural birth, but at some point I started thinking that I wanted an epidural. I couldn’t decide; my mind was fighting with what my body was feeling. I was just about at the point to ask for it, when my doctor came in, around 6:30 AM. She examined me and said that I had made a lot of progress. She gave me a hug, looked me in the eye, and said “I know you can do this, you’re almost there!”  Her encouragement was just what I needed at that moment. She suggested I get up and take a shower, which I did for quite awhile. The hot water was very soothing and relaxing to me.

After I got out of the shower and back into the bed, things started moving faster, and I went into transition. At that point I knew that my baby would be coming soon because my cervix was dilating quickly, and the nurses started making preparations for the birth. I started feeling the urge to push, and the doctor came back and said that I was completely dilated. I felt the urge to push very strongly, and I grunted loudly as I pushed. I only pushed for about 10 minutes when his head came out at 9:15 AM, followed right away by the rest of his body. They put him on my chest and said “It’s a boy!” I didn’t know it at the time, but later I found out that the doctor had done a local anesthetic right at the last. I also needed just a few stitches for a small tear. Matthew was wide awake and nursed beautifully almost right away! This was also very important to me as I wanted to breastfeed exclusively; I was very much against using formula or any kind of supplementation. We stayed in the hospital for just over 24 hours, with my husband staying with us.

 After Matthew’s birth, I felt so empowered, and stronger than I had ever felt in my life – I felt like I could do anything! I loved being a mama, and stayed home with him for 3 months. I then went back to work for 3 months and have been at home with my children ever since.